Recent posts

#11
Lobby / Re: It was a dark and stormy n...
Last post by Darren Dirt - March 15, 2024, 12:32:26 PM
Having sent his wife Rosemary to their cabin (for it was an unlit and turbulent night at sea), Basil maintained his position at the helm while the driving rain peppered his graying ginger hair, and the old salt thought sagely that it was a good thing he was a
Spoiler
well-seasoned sailor
[close]
. 😑

#12
Lobby / Re: It was a dark and stormy n...
Last post by Darren Dirt - March 15, 2024, 12:25:17 PM
https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2023

Grunchkukk The Vile couldn't believe that the 250-year-old Frodo Baggins was still alive, after he had dealt him countless blows with his iron-spiked Dwarf-death orb, slashed him to ribbons with his Elf-shredder axe, and run him through with his Goblin-cleaver, until he remembered his Orcmother had once told him "
Spoiler
Old Hobbits die hard
[close]
." 🙄

#13
Tech Chat / Re: This is barely even satire...
Last post by Darren Dirt - March 15, 2024, 12:02:17 PM
"Who needs helpful function parameters, when the functions are named so perfectly self-documentedly!" 🥴
#14
Lobby / It was a dark and stormy night...
Last post by Darren Dirt - March 15, 2024, 11:58:34 AM
https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

Suddenly I feel like maybe I ain't be writin' so bad.

...

I mean, I am a sucker for the worst dad jokes, but this elephant pun, OUCH: https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2022
^ "And so the two pachyderms with the same first name met, and they formed the jazz duo legend known as
Spoiler
the Elephants Gerald
[close]
."
#15
Lobby / Re: Yo Dawg, I heard you like ...
Last post by Mr. Analog - March 11, 2024, 06:11:41 PM
Great remix!
#16
Lobby / Re: Yo Dawg, I heard you like ...
Last post by Lazybones - March 11, 2024, 04:14:17 PM
You might like this

#17
Tech Chat / Re: This is barely even satire...
Last post by Thorin - March 11, 2024, 01:16:44 PM
If that came across my desk as code to review, I'd make them put in some well-placed local parameters to make it much easier to read. I mean, a big part of the problem with that code is the "run-on sentences" they've written.
#18
Tech Chat / This is barely even satire (Ja...
Last post by Darren Dirt - March 10, 2024, 10:09:16 AM
https://steve-yegge.blogspot.com/2006/03/execution-in-kingdom-of-nouns.html

...you can tell how happy a society is through their nursery rhymes, and Javaland's are whimsically poetic. For instance, Javaland children oft recite the famous cautionary tale:


For the lack of a nail,
    throw new HorseshoeNailNotFoundException("no nails!");

For the lack of a horseshoe,
    EquestrianDoctor.getLocalInstance().getHorseDispatcher().shoot();

For the lack of a horse,
    RidersGuild.getRiderNotificationSubscriberList().getBroadcaster().run(
      new BroadcastMessage(StableFactory.getNullHorseInstance()));

For the lack of a rider,
    MessageDeliverySubsystem.getLogger().logDeliveryFailure(
      MessageFactory.getAbstractMessageInstance(
        new MessageMedium(MessageType.VERBAL),
        new MessageTransport(MessageTransportType.MOUNTED_RIDER),
        new MessageSessionDestination(BattleManager.getRoutingInfo(
                                        BattleLocation.NEAREST))),
      MessageFailureReasonCode.UNKNOWN_RIDER_FAILURE);

For the lack of a message,
    ((BattleNotificationSender)
      BattleResourceMediator.getMediatorInstance().getResource(
        BattleParticipant.PROXY_PARTICIPANT,
        BattleResource.BATTLE_NOTIFICATION_SENDER)).sendNotification(
          ((BattleNotificationBuilder)
            (BattleResourceMediator.getMediatorInstance().getResource(
            BattleOrganizer.getBattleParticipant(Battle.Participant.GOOD_GUYS),
            BattleResource.BATTLE_NOTIFICATION_BUILDER))).buildNotification(
              BattleOrganizer.getBattleState(BattleResult.BATTLE_LOST),
              BattleManager.getChainOfCommand().getCommandChainNotifier()));

For the lack of a battle,
    try {
        synchronized(BattleInformationRouterLock.getLockInstance()) {
          BattleInformationRouterLock.getLockInstance().wait();
        }
    } catch (InterruptedException ix) {
      if (BattleSessionManager.getBattleStatus(
           BattleResource.getLocalizedBattleResource(Locale.getDefault()),
           BattleContext.createContext(
             Kingdom.getMasterBattleCoordinatorInstance(
               new TweedleBeetlePuddlePaddleBattle()).populate(
                 RegionManager.getArmpitProvince(Armpit.LEFTMOST)))) ==
          BattleStatus.LOST) {
        if (LOGGER.isLoggable(Level.TOTALLY_SCREWED)) {
          LOGGER.logScrewage(BattleLogger.createBattleLogMessage(
            BattleStatusFormatter.format(BattleStatus.LOST_WAR,
                                         Locale.getDefault())));
        }
      }
    }

For the lack of a war,
    new ServiceExecutionJoinPoint(
      DistributedQueryAnalyzer.forwardQueryResult(
        NotificationSchemaManager.getAbstractSchemaMapper(
          new PublishSubscribeNotificationSchema()).getSchemaProxy().
            executePublishSubscribeQueryPlan(
              NotificationSchema.ALERT,
              new NotificationSchemaPriority(SchemaPriority.MAX_PRIORITY),
              new PublisherMessage(MessageFactory.getAbstractMessage(
                MessageType.WRITTEN,
                new MessageTransport(MessageTransportType.WOUNDED_SURVIVOR),
                new MessageSessionDestination(
                  DestinationManager.getNullDestinationForQueryPlan()))),
              DistributedWarMachine.getPartyRoleManager().getRegisteredParties(
                PartyRoleManager.PARTY_KING ||
                PartyRoleManager.PARTY_GENERAL ||
                PartyRoleManager.PARTY_AMBASSADOR)).getQueryResult(),
        PriorityMessageDispatcher.getPriorityDispatchInstance())).
      waitForService();

All for the lack of a horseshoe nail.


#19
Lobby / Re: Yo Dawg, I heard you like ...
Last post by Mr. Analog - March 07, 2024, 10:35:27 AM
That's really good!
#20
Lobby / Re: Yo Dawg, I heard you like ...
Last post by Melbosa - March 07, 2024, 09:53:27 AM
Awesome.