Announcing the engagement of Ustauk and HoneyBunny!

[Ustauk]

  Ustauk and HoneyBunny plan to be wed sometime in the near future.    We are tying the knot, taking the great leap of faith and entering blissful married life.  All who have any advice, please feel free to respond.

Love and kisses  ,
Ustauk and HoneyBunny 

[Thorin]

Advice?

Don't burn your friendships.  A relationship will not persist if you only have each other as friends; "Us Against The World" always fails.  If your only friend is your spouse and you need to vent about something your spouse has done, who do you vent to?

Don't become best buds with all of your spouse's friends.  Be cordial, be friendly, get to know them, but make sure to give your spouse some space where they can have friends that are their friends first and your friends second.

Work hard at making your spouse's life better.  Work hard at making your spouse happy.  Don't measure how much you're trying versus how little they're trying, but understand that if it's too one-sided you will eventually break apart.

Live your life as if your relationship could end tomorrow, because it could.  Make sure to work at your relationship every day, hopefully to stave off its end.  At the same time, plan your life as if your relationship will never end, because you may stay in it until the end of your life.

Realize that marriage is not necessarily bliss, and that bliss every day becomes bland.  Marriage is hard, takes a lot of work, and allows for occasional bouts of bliss.  Marriage at its best gives you a foundation of support that allows you to do anything you want to do.  Marriage at its worst erodes your self-confidence so much that you stop doing the things you've been doing and never attempt anything new.

Marriage does not guarantee you sex; your spouse does not become your hooker or gigolo.  Sex is an activity that many married people engage in with each other, but you can never demand sex from your spouse; it is theirs to give, not yours to take.

Marriage is about trust and forgiveness.  Trust creates the foundation of support.  Forgiveness reinforces the trust.  If one spouse does not trust the other, the marriage will probably fail - perhaps quickly, or perhaps several decades along.  Unfortunately, it's impossible to determine until your marriage ends (whether by death or divorce) if your spouse really trusts you, deep down in their soul.  They may say they trust you, but they may just be saying it because they need to believe it.  That is the "great leap of faith" everyone talks about.

That's all pretty vague and broad-sweeping advice; hopefully it's useful to you.  Congratulations and best of luck!

[Lazybones]

Congratulations, just remember that as you grow and change as a couple that you don't forget who you were when you started.

[Mr. Analog]

Congratulations.

I'm not going to offer advice, but I will advise caution; be absolutely sure that this is what you both want and need.

[Ustauk]

My fiancee is the most important thing in the world to me.  She is my everything;  nothing and no one will get in the way of making us happy.  I have and will continue to change and grow as a person to make my self the best fiance and husband I can;  that means my priority is HoneyBunny above all others.  I am not being subdued or stricken; I am becoming a whole person with the one I love.  If putting my HoneyBunny in front of my friendships "burns" them, so be it.  My friends should understand I'm not a single person now; I'm one part of a single soul.  You'll just have to deal with it.

[HoneyBunny]

   As a wise man once said, " Protect the relationship - the rest is just a game. " 



  P.S.  Ustauk and I have a heart stopping, insatiable, never ending, healthy appetite for only each other and we eat at home at least 2 times                     
                per day. 

[Thorin]

My fiancee is the most important thing in the world to me.  She is my everything;  nothing and no one will get in the way of making us happy.  I have and will continue to change and grow as a person to make my self the best fiance and husband I can;  that means my priority is HoneyBunny above all others.  I am not being subdued or stricken; I am becoming a whole person with the one I love.  If putting my HoneyBunny in front of my friendships "burns" them, so be it.  My friends should understand I'm not a single person now; I'm one part of a single soul.  You'll just have to deal with it.

Nice of you to put into words what we've been noticing for six months, that you will burn your friendships for your girl.  Good luck with that.  I know plenty of divorced men who tried the same.  If you didn't want our advice, you shouldn't have asked for it!

  As a wise man once said, " Protect the relationship - the rest is just a game. " 



  P.S.  Ustauk and I have a heart stopping, insatiable, never ending, healthy appetite for only each other and we eat at home at least 2 times                     
                per day. 

I really, really don't give a crap how many times a day you @%&# him in the ass, or whatever it is that you do in the bedroom.  Bragging about it is childish.  Bragging about it in a thread where the original post actually asked for marriage advice is even more childish.  Marriages are so much more than sex, but I guess you don't get that.

[Ustauk]

My fiancee is the most important thing in the world to me.  She is my everything;  nothing and no one will get in the way of making us happy.  I have and will continue to change and grow as a person to make my self the best fiance and husband I can;  that means my priority is HoneyBunny above all others.  I am not being subdued or stricken; I am becoming a whole person with the one I love.  If putting my HoneyBunny in front of my friendships "burns" them, so be it.  My friends should understand I'm not a single person now; I'm one part of a single soul.  You'll just have to deal with it.

Nice of you to put into words what we've been noticing for six months, that you will burn your friendships for your girl.  Good luck with that.  I know plenty of divorced men who tried the same.  If you didn't want our advice, you shouldn't have asked for it!

I used your word Thorin!  Is there something wrong with me putting my fiancee above all in this world?  What if we have children; am I not allowed to put them ahead of you guys?  I wanted to make it clear to you guys where my priorities lie.  You guys are still important to me, but you need to understand that I'm not alone any more, and there is someone now in this world who is most important to me.  I hope you guys can understand this.

[Shayne]

Nice of you to put into words what we've been noticing for six months, that you will burn your friendships for your girl.

You've noticed that too?  Its a damn shame.  I made that same mistake when I first started dating Alyson and it put a real strain on friendships of those close to me.  Tossing away lifetime friends is a very big mistake, who can you count on for help when their is no-one else around?

  P.S.  Ustauk and I have a heart stopping, insatiable, never ending, healthy appetite for only each other and we eat at home at least 2 times per day. 

Got pictures to back that up? 

I used your word Thorin!  Is there something wrong with me putting my fiancee above all in this world?  What if we have children; am I not allowed to put them ahead of you guys?  I wanted to make it clear to you guys where my priorities lie.  You guys are still important to me, but you need to understand that I'm not alone any more, and there is someone now in this world who is most important to me.  I hope you guys can understand this.

I don't think anyone is arguing that fact bud, I think the argument is that even if you are "two" doesn't mean you always have to be "two".  You can look at Monday Night Gaming as a perfect example of ditching the witch and getting out with the guys.  I guess when you are in this or any other relationship for any real period of time hopefully you will see this.

[HoneyBunny]

  We have more pictures than you can imagine; plus 2 videos. Camera/Video phones are great!!!! 

Yours truly, "The Witch" HoneyBunny 

[Shayne]

We have more pictures than you can imagine; plus 2 videos. Camera/Video phones are great!!!! 

*cough*mediafire.com*cough*

Yours truly, "The Witch" HoneyBunny 

The witch (i was gonna use b*tch) comment was not directed at you as I do not know you.  More of a "leave the wife at home" but more gangster.  Not meant to be derogatory to women or you in any way.  A lot can be said for a guys night out from time to time.

[HoneyBunny]

I really, really don't give a crap how many times a day you @%&# him in the ass, or whatever it is that you do in the bedroom.  Bragging about it is childish.  Bragging about it in a thread where the original post actually asked for marriage advice is even more childish.  Marriages are so much more than sex, but I guess you don't get that.

  Your comments and criticisms are greatly appreciated and will be taken under consideration. Thank you. 



P.S. Trust me - -Ustauk cannot even poo for a week - I loved your idea.  :-)

[HoneyBunny]

The witch (i was gonna use b*tch) comment was not directed at you as I do not know you.  More of a "leave the wife at home" but more gangster.  Not meant to be derogatory to women or you in any way.  A lot can be said for a guys night out from time to time.

OHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!  B*tch !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I like that even better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "The B*tch" HoneyBunny !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is fabulous.   :-D

Oh my god - Your a real ganster!!! Cool!!! How's that working for you? 

Quote : Why do people with closed minds, have such open mouths???
                    Anonymous.

Lovingly Yours, T.B. HoneyBunny     

[Thorin]

Thank you, Shayne, for bringing the tone of my post back down to earth.  You're bang on and have obviously gone through what I'm advising him to avoid.

[Thorin]

HoneyBunny, Ustauk talks about being the best fiancee he can be, maybe you should think about that too?  You make him look stupid for being with you when you post like you're doing here.