Oh SMBC... you bitch

[Mr. Analog]

Hehehe!

[Mr. Analog]

Also, a Ninja's Handbook would be awesome... (especially if there was a Pirate's handbook as well)

[Thorin]

Ah, good ol' TSR.  The Complete Ninja's Handbook.  They didn't make a Pirate's Handbook, although Wizards of the Coast did make Stormwrack for 3.5.  If you're willing to go third-party, there's Unorthodox Pirates...

I'm glad I never relied on dice for the outcome of actual sexual encounters

[Mr. Analog]

I was gonna say something about rolling dice imply probability and not certainty but I'll just shut up now...