Ok, today being "the day after" much revellry I decided to watch a bunch of movies on my digital cable box. I saw:
-Chronicles of Riddick
-Solaris
-Kingdom of Heaven
Each one sucked in it's own way, and I thought I'd share (in case someone out there hasn't seen them):
Chronicles of Riddick, ok I like crappy Sci-Fi, in fact I own more crappy Sci-Fi than anyone else here on this board. I have a high tolerance for meandering storylines BUT CoR (as I will now call it) didn't seem to know what it was all about. I sincerely hope there's some super-special directors cut that explain how Riddick (played by master thespian Vin Diesel) can seeminly waltz about this fantastic universe with impunity, going from scene to scene without much logic. This movie was supposed to expand on the admittedly cool backstory of his character in another movie (which, also I hated but I reserved that) in fact what we get is supposed to be a sweeping political / religious struggle going on in a far flung solar system. The expansion on Riddicks character went thusly; See man->punch him, see babe->screw her, opportunity to speak->utter trite jibberish that would make Bruice Campbell take a step back. It had an interesting concept story and a plot in there somewhere, but they spend a lot of time doing useless crap (the whole triple-max side story). If I ran this as a D&D campaign I'd have to be answering a lot of questions about "why are we doing this now?", "what was the point of going here", etc, etc. I rate this movie as a C+ (that is to say, not quite as good as Krull or Battle Beyond the Stars but somewhat watchable).
Next up is Solaris, I like 2001: A Space Odyssey even though it's a bit trippy. The long sweeping shots, the long silent scenes, the mere weight of the picture seems to pull you in like some kind of gravitational anomoly. Solaris is a show about a space-shrink who visits a spacestation orbiting some kind of possibly sentient "planet" (it looks more like a lava-lamp). There have been multple murders, suicides and a coupla "replicants" sent from the planet-thingie. Ok, if I saw v2.5 of my dead wife I'd put her in the airlock again. The move had me, I must admit, for 3/4 of it's running time before it ran out of steam and just started getting messy. Was this films message "remember people better"? I don't know, it all got fuzzy after a while (also, what's the deal with the rain everywhere, was that supposed to set the mood?). The mood of this film is a sombre one and I don't recommend it if you are even a little depressed. Incedentally, if this film feels extra distant that may be because it was written in 1972 in Soviet Russia. (insert joke here).
Finally, I watched Kingdom of Heaven, which tries to portray Jerusalem before the third Crusade. Well let me tell you something, this movie is a lot like the Second and Third Crusade; a big confused mess. The storytelling seems to dilly-dally on various events but does no work to weave them into a big story. A few characters are weakly built, but you never gain an attachment to anyone. This films message seems to be "can't we all just get along?" but explains it via bloody battles. The worst part was the depiction of Salah al-Din who seems distant and disconnected from events around him, like a paper cutout of a very important historical figure. Richard Coeur de Lion also is featured less than prominantly (for such an important figure), while our protagonist Balian of Ibelin kind of floats through the adventure spouting various speeches at downtrodden folk. When you look at a historical picture usually you have to take it with a grain of salt, in this case the grain would be as big as a seige tower as much of the story presented is utter crapola (Balian was never a blacksmith, in fact he was given the title to the castle of Ibelin sometime in his early to mid 20s after his eldest brother died and his second brother decided to retain power in Ramla). Oh well, look at the pretty scenery on this one I suppose.
All said and done I should have watched, Dune, 2001 and The Messenger, as they are all infinitely better.
Yes the joy and horror of the movie channels
Quote from: Mr. Analog on May 28, 2006, 11:42:13 PMChronicles of Riddick, ok I like crappy Sci-Fi, in fact I own more crappy Sci-Fi than anyone else here on this board. I have a high tolerance for meandering storylines BUT CoR (as I will now call it) didn't seem to know what it was all about.
Finally, someone else who's sat through this movie and wondered WTH was up with the nonstop parade of unexplained transitions. I can take a movie that does its own thing at its own pace but CoR felt like it might as well have been Vin standing infront of a greenscreen. Zip! A majestic space background suddenly drops down, Vin punches someone. Zap! A space battle background drops down. Zoom! He gets the girl. This movie still and always will make my teeth hurt (with rage). At least Pitch Black is watchable in comparison.
Quote from: Mr. Analog on May 28, 2006, 11:42:13 PMSolaris is a show about a space-shrink who visits a spacestation orbiting some kind of possibly sentient "planet" (it looks more like a lava-lamp). There have been multple murders, suicides and a coupla "replicants" sent from the planet-thingie.
All I know is that I liked that plot when it was done by Ray Bradbury. Though it was depressing even then.
Quote from: Mr. Analog on May 28, 2006, 11:42:13 PMOk, if I saw v2.5 of my dead wife I'd put her in the airlock again.
Ha! Reminds me of Evangelion. Rei Clones: "AIEEEEEEE!" (squish)
Quote from: Mr. Analog on May 28, 2006, 11:42:13 PMAll said and done I should have watched, Dune, 2001 and The Messenger, as they are all infinitely better.
The Messenger = good. No time wasted there in my opinion! Same for Dune and 2001.
Quote from: Lazybones on May 29, 2006, 08:50:39 AM
Yes the joy and horror of the movie channels
I really should have just watched more of my StrongbadEmail.EXE dvds that Tonnica got me for my b-day!
Quote from: Mr. Analog on May 29, 2006, 08:58:28 AM
Quote from: Lazybones on May 29, 2006, 08:50:39 AM
Yes the joy and horror of the movie channels
I really should have just watched more of my StrongbadEmail.EXE dvds that Tonnica got me for my b-day!
*jealous*
requisite link to Homestar Wiki (http://www.hrwiki.org/index.php/Strong_Bad_Email) so that productivity will go down... down... ("Evil! (http://www.kithfan.org/work/transcripts/two/hypnosis.html)" ;D )
I joined the H*RWiki 6 months ago when TBC took some time off without posting a note on the H*R site. It's disturbingly thorough.
Riddick wasnt all that bad I thought, but my expectations for sci-fi is soooo low because they are so rare. Try thinking of a couple of "good" sci-fi films released in the last 5 years (you had better not say Star Wars 1-3 or Matrix 2-3), its a very very short list if you can, i cant think of any in all honesty.
Serenity for me!
Quote from: Mr. Analog on May 29, 2006, 09:42:41 AM
I joined the H*RWiki 6 months ago when TBC took some time off without posting a note on the H*R site. It's disturbingly thorough.
Yes, actually-useful timesinks such as that are evil.
"disturbingly" evil. :)
Quote from: Shayne on May 29, 2006, 11:43:44 AM
Try thinking of a couple of "good" sci-fi films released in the last 5 years , its a very very short list if you can, i cant think of any in all honesty.
Serenity. Equilibrium. V for Vendetta.
The Day After Tomorrow ;)
Quote from: Mr. Analog on May 29, 2006, 08:58:28 AMI really should have just watched more of my StrongbadEmail.EXE dvds that Tonnica got me for my b-day!
Speaking of Homestar Runner and linking so productivity goes down:
Trogdor = freezer jam! (http://www.homecanning.com/can/ALRecipes.asp) I saw this photo in an ad for Bernardin in a Canadian Living magazine today and took a double take!
Quote from: Tonnica on May 30, 2006, 08:01:59 PM
Quote from: Mr. Analog on May 29, 2006, 08:58:28 AMI really should have just watched more of my StrongbadEmail.EXE dvds that Tonnica got me for my b-day!
Speaking of Homestar Runner and linking so productivity goes down:
Trogdor = freezer jam! (http://www.homecanning.com/can/ALRecipes.asp) I saw this photo in an ad for Bernardin in a Canadian Living magazine today and took a double take!
Mmmm jammination...