Ever had one person just set your day off tilt?

Melbosa · May 13, 2013, 10:34:50 AM

So I wasn't having a very good morning this am. Stuff just was coming at me that I couldn't fix or perplexed me something terrible. But you now Mondays can be that way.

At coffee I thought I would check with my peers to see if someone had any new ideas to the issues I was working on. As soon as I opened my mouth though a Co-Worker/Friend and Friend spat back at me something about don't want to hear it. Obviously they were having a bad am as well, but the tone and delivery was such that I was put off.

Now I know that its only me that can fix how I feel about the situation and my reaction. But man it really threw me for a loop. I am so agitated now and mad. Truly mad!

Rationally I know its just Mondays creeping up with Stress, and know the Co-Worker/Friend didn't mean to make this reaction happen in me, but I can't shake the irrational reaction I have now.

So while I was hoping this post would relieve some of the feelings and anger (which it hasn't), I thought I would check to see how you guys deal with that situation in your own experience.

Tom · May 13, 2013, 10:39:15 AM

Yeah, sadly I have those days as well. Unfortunately for me, anger tends to make it impossible for me to work till I stop being mad. Which can take upwards of the rest of the day. Totally ruins my day.

Mr. Analog · May 13, 2013, 10:47:02 AM

That was Friday for me and a bit of this morning, it's got to be the weather or something but the amount of BS I've had to deal with at work in the last 2 days skyrocketed beyond belief.

My blood pressure on Friday was 158 over 100, which is waaay over normal (even for me).

I had a wonderful weekend, I slept well, had a great time with my folks for Mother's Day, yesterday I did some yard work and then relaxed in the afternoon listening to music sitting in my deck chair drinking wine.

But then today we're back in the thick of it and I just want a day off so bad right now.

I want to work on artwork

I want to play games

I want to do anything but sit here in a group meeting and fret about things our team has zero control over.

Melbosa · May 13, 2013, 10:58:18 AM

Well its still bugging me. I've resorted to putting on my headphones and cranking toons to try and relax...

Mr. Analog · May 13, 2013, 11:06:42 AM

I'm working from home today, our external dependencies are all OOO today so I'm hoping I get back to what I was working on before we got crapped on by seagull management.

I think at lunch I'm going to draw some stuff... or something

Melbosa · May 13, 2013, 11:09:31 AM

I wish I could drink today... working from home seems nice.

Mr. Analog · May 13, 2013, 11:14:03 AM

I made the mistake of drinking too much yesterday, with the heat it didn't make for good sleeping last night.

When I came home from Costco it was 27 degrees in the house. I think that's probably why I spent most of yesterday outdoors.

Mags · May 13, 2013, 11:15:07 AM

Best solution is a boot to the head.

Oh, and then tell them you know where they live and you'll feed their dog to their kids if they talk. Just to keep the pesky law out of it.

Mr. Analog · May 13, 2013, 11:16:10 AM

haha

Melbosa · May 13, 2013, 11:29:03 AM

Quote from: Mags on May 13, 2013, 11:15:07 AM
Best solution is a boot to the head.

Oh, and then tell them you know where they live and you'll feed their dog to their kids if they talk. Just to keep the pesky law out of it.

Yeah so tempting......

Thorin · May 13, 2013, 12:18:05 PM

I tend to have one of two reactions: a quick, brash response dripping of sarcasm, or a well-thought-out chat later in the day. My response really depends on whether my brain tells my mouth to shut up before my mouth spouts off something. From your post it sounds like you avoided the brash response (good for you).

With kids learning how to communicate from horrible TV shows and their friends who watch horrible TV shows, I have been spending a lot of time in the last five years telling my kids that it isn't just what words you say, it's also the tone in which you say them. Sounds like that's the problem here. If they'd said the same words, but in a friendly tone with a little smile on their face, would it have bothered you as much?

If you've avoided the brash response, there's nothing wrong with sitting down with them at the next break and saying, "Hey, I was venting about my problems and I get that you were having your own this morning, but the way you told me to just deal with it kinda shocked me. So how are your problems coming along, anything I can help with?". That is, let 'em know it bugged ya, then let 'em know that if they need help or just an ear for venting that you're there.

Keep in mind that in our industry people tend to be more analytical and detached and less empathic and in tune with others' feelings, so it's actually pretty common for an IT worker to step on a co-workers toes and not even realize it. They might even question you on why you're upset about what they said simply because they genuinely don't understand; in that case just point out that it was the tone they used when saying it.

And as tempting as violence or the threat of violence is, unfortunately that just sets up more antagonism and discord. And I say this full well knowing I'd likely give a verbal boot-to-the-head immediately without thinking.

Mr. Analog · May 13, 2013, 01:07:52 PM

I often wonder if our generation resorts to snark as a first response because of 80s archetypes *puts on ray bans and skateboards into the bad guy's fancy office*

Either way I hope your day is going better, I just spent an hour chilling on the couch watching funny videos and eating vegetable gyoza, there's nothing dough and soy sauce can't cure

Thorin · May 13, 2013, 01:31:14 PM

It's not just our generation. Listen to some classic Amos & Andy on the radio (after 11pm at night on 630 CHED) or watch some Three Stooges, people have been mocking each other time immemorial.

Mr. Analog · May 13, 2013, 02:01:53 PM

I suppose...

Darren Dirt · May 13, 2013, 04:00:16 PM

Quote from: Thorin on May 13, 2013, 12:18:05 PM
in our industry people tend to be more analytical and detached and less empathic and in tune with others' feelings, so it's actually pretty common for an IT worker to step on a co-workers toes and not even realize it. They might even question you on why you're upset about what they said simply because they genuinely don't understand

Also most of us in IT are men (or women who are rather... man-like, at least in the way we think/feel about stuff, i.e. task-oriented, problem-solving, rational-analytical rather than emotional-empathetic).