Stupid Sealion

[Tom]

Stupid Sealion and other STUPID monsters.

[Lazybones]

I was thinking much the same thing when looking through the monster manual.

[Mr. Analog]

Ok, two things:

a). This guy has never played D&D
b). This article is incredibly smug

Granted, there are a lot of things that are very stupid in D&D and there are a lot of things that don't make sense. Some things are simply there to add some variety and/or show some flexibility within the system. So I mean you could fight a bear, but after fighting five bears near a wizards castle wouldn't it be weird to fight an owlbear? That in itself might lead to a storyline that any druid would be interested in (re: wizard @%&#ing around with nature).

Other things like mimics are classic D&D entities that lend themselves from recurring mythological themes (things that are not what they seem). I agree that some things like Wolf-In-Sheeps-Clothing are dumb and unnecessary others certainly have their place (to me the idea of a Doppelganger is cool, why couldn't there be lower level creatures that share some of the same tactical qualities).

Oh yes, the world of D&D is fraught with danger, well duh, it's supposed to be! If Heracles had only to sweep out a stable, pick a few apples and reign in a rabid dog no one would know about his adventures (much less make crappy cartoons of him in the 1960s).

My advice to Jared von Hindman is that he maybe should go back to watching crappy horror movies and downloading seasons of the "Teen Titans" cartoon...

[Tom]

Heh. I thought the article was hilarious. Just take it all with a grain of salt

I just hope we don't ever find ourselves in a man eating room

[Lazybones]

I thought it was just funny, and looking from the outside it is even worse.

[Mr. Analog]

It's statements like this...

"I'll admit that, for someone who's into gaming and roleplaying, it's pretty weird that I never got into playing Dungeons & Dragons.  I think it might be the fact that I never got into Elves or just that the whole Fantasy genre just seemed like one long Conan the Barbarian-based cliche."

...that hurt my brain. I'd really like to know what kind of "roleplaying' he's talking about if he has never seriously encountered a fantasy RPG, but then this is a man who has watched a movie about a killer poo man (!?!) more than once. Everyone has their own sense of humour, for example I find "jokes" and "wit" funny. Sadly I did not find these qualities apparent in his list or in many of his other article entries.

To each his own I suppose.

[Thorin]

It's certainly possible to play modern-time or futuristic role-playing games all your life.  But yeah, how many books did he have to pore over to find the twenty or so that he picked out?  Many of them are from very long ago and some supplements were written to make money rather than help players enjoy the game.  Same with some of today's supplements.

To extend this a bit further, though, why aren't centaurs or unicorns or dragons considered ridiculous?  Why not ridicule the idea that you can cast all kinds of crazy spells?  Why not make fun of GURPS or Shadowrun or LARPers or anything else?  I guess what I'm getting at is why expend energy complaining about a game you don't even play?  I mean, if he played D&D and had a serious concern about the monsters provided for him to play with, sure, there's a reason to write the article.  But he doesn't play.  Just goes to show that some people will complain about anything.

Anyway, yes, some of the monsters in the monster manual are weird - but the monster manual aims to give monsters that run the gamut.  Need something that does sonic damage, or something that spits acid, or something that's nearly unbeatable?  It's all in there.

[Tom]

I still _really_ don't want to find myself in a man eating room. 

[Mr. Analog]

I still _really_ don't want to find myself in a man eating room. 

Why not? What if you win? I seem to remember an episode of Blackstar where the very same thing happened... now if you get that reference, you're a true geek

[Tom]

Why not? What if you win?

I find it highly unlikely. If the zombie's we were fighting had the capability to pin us and THEN eat us in one move, I don't think that battle would have lasted 5 minutes, let alone 2-3 hours.

now if you get that reference, you're a true geek

Awww. I missed a lot of cartoons in the 80s. I may have seen it, but I have a rather holey memory from way back then.