April Fools Articles 2005

[Melbosa]

 Source: http://ve3d.ign.com/articles/600/600835p1.html?fromint=1

As mentioned in John Carmack's latest blog update, the id programmer has been working on cell phone gaming technology. In a freak accident while trying to improve the bandwidth in which a cell phone operates, Carmack inadvertently opened an interdimentional line of communication with an alien species the US Government has classified as "hostile". When asked for comment, all Carmack could say was "[taking a deep breath] I'm sorry it had to happen this way, but the time has finally come..."

[Melbosa]

 Source: http://ve3d.ign.com/articles/600/600834p1.html

3 Out of 4 Gamers Want the Phantom!

April 01, 2005 - So says this timely press release:
According to a recent study conducted by media research firm SmithGeiger LLC and commissioned by Infinium Labs, Inc. (OTC BB: IFLB), three in four respondents (76%) said they would like to have the Phantom Game Service.
The majority of respondents said they see the Phantom service as an attractive alternative to current game rental and purchase options, with convenience, simplicity, timeliness, and ease of access to a wide range of current titles and old favorites as key drivers.

The study, which was conducted by SmithGeiger in February 2005, surveyed over 600 current or former console or PC gamers with residential broadband internet access.

"The initial interest in the Phantom Game Service is substantial and validates the promise of this new platform. There is a tangible demand for a new alternative in gaming that better serves lifestyle and interests by delivering a more convenient way for consumers to experience PC quality games through the TV in their own living room" explained SmithGeiger principal Seth Geiger.

OMG, SIGN ME UP NOW!

[Melbosa]

 Source: http://ve3d.ign.com/articles/600/600829p1.html

Prey Becomes Reality Show on Fox
Bring reality TV to new heights

April 01, 2005 - Fox announced today that it has signed a deal with 3D Realms to develop a new reality show this fall loosely based on "Prey", a first person shooter currently in development at Human Head Studios using the Doom 3 engine.

"This isn't some crappy Survivor wannabe", laughs Fox spokeswoman Chesty McGee. "We're going to have actual teams of highly trained [and armed] mercenaries chasing the contestants all the way from the jungles of Brazil to the Rio Grande; the first person to make it back across the American border alive wins the million dollars, plus is eligible to compete for our all-star $10,000,000.00 grand prize event being sponsored by Mountain Dew. The rules are simple, as long as you don't fly or use any form of commercial transportation [and can get back before the one week time limit is up], you win. We have a lot of safeguards like global tracking devices and cameras fitted on every contestant, but we don't want to give too much away before the show debuts this fall during sweeps."

Prey will be hosted by former NFL star Howie Long and Evil Dead star Bruce Campell.

[Melbosa]

 Source: http://www.hlfallout.net/comments.php?id=7822

Gabe Newell - Coming to a Concert Near You
Today we're proud to bring you the exclusive story which will change the future of the Half-Life series. Gabe Newell, managing director at Valve Software, has given us the scoop on his move from gaming to the music industry. Finishing up at Valve last week, Gabe has started touring full-time with his 3 piece folk-rock band, Left of the Dealer.

When asked about the change, Gabe let us know that "it wasn't because of any conflicts at Valve ? they're a great team. And don't get me wrong, I love making games. But there's a ton of creativity I'm just not able to express unless I'm with my guitar."

Gabe was kind enough to send us an exclusive sample of their debut single, Chasing the Sun. You can download the MP3 here (1.3Mb). And if you're in Washington State, watch out for Left of the Dealer's upcoming concerts. Valve Engineering Lead, Rick Ellis, expressed the feeling at Valve, "of course, we're sad to him go. But music is his other life, and I'm glad he's finally living his dream".

[Melbosa]

 Hmmm lots on VE3D today.  See if you can find the hidden message in this one.

Source: http://ve3d.ign.com/articles/600/600826p1.html

Unreal III Announced
 
April 01, 2005 - Epic today announced development of Unreal III:
RALEIGH, NC, USA (April 1st 2005) Epic Games has announced today the latest highly-anticipated sequel in the popular Unreal franchise - Unreal 3: Slug Saga - The Adventures of Ne'ban! The highly-anticipated Unreal 3 takes gamers into the mysterious past of their favorite royal alien parasite inside the body of a giant slug, TCA pilot Ne'ban, last seen being blown to smithereens at the end of Unreal 2.
U3:SS-TAoNB sees the return not only of that giant slug from Unreal 2, but also the dastardly space-clown Mr. Crow, first seen in Unreal Tournament 2003 and often described as a cross between Michael Jackson and a swiss army knife.

"Mr. Crow is the ****." said Lead Designer Biff Cleszinski, "I mean seriously, who'd want to **** with an undead space clown with a giant codpiece, a hat made of human flesh and spiky blades of death on the end of each finger. He's the perfect villain, and makes the Skaarj queen look like a lovable little kitten."

[Shayne]

 ...all of these are uber lame.

[Shayne]

 ...going to www.fark.com this morning takes you too "North-Central Kentucky Bunghole Discharge"

...php released an update (not sure if its an April Fools, but its been about 6 months )

[Mr. Analog]

 Paris Hilton Recruited to Publicize Linux

Scientific American Gives Up

Britannica takeover of Wikimedia

RFC On New Internet Routing Protocol

Ok, I'll stop now...

[Shayne]

 

Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin informed the United States that Canada will not partake in any action against the French, much to the anger of Bush, who will also ask the UN to blame Canada. The rest of the world, believing Canada to be the 51st state, think that the US are declaring another civil war. Bush's first official response was to declare by Executive Order that Canadian bacon will henceforth be formed from strips of freedom-loving Gnu and be referred to as "Liberty Bacon", which is both more patriotic and less fattening.

Thats not bad

[Mr. Analog]

 http://www.homestarrunner.com/ switching to a pay service...

[Mr. Analog]

 Check out today's http://www.thinkgeek.com/ linup, awesome!

[Melbosa]

...all of these are uber lame.

So positive this morning, I can just feel the sunshine from your end of the world....



Going to go cry in my little cubical now...

[Melbosa]

 K these were unexpected:

Soruce: http://www.fragapalooza.com/

April 1 2005
More Exciting News, Apple On Board! - 15:53 MST - Gaza
Fragapalooza has just confirmed the Apple will be sponsoring 64 top of the line 17 inch iMac's for this years tournament machines. We are very excited to be working with Apple and raising their gaming profile in Canada and hope to make the best use out of their technology. This is a large enough number of machines to be able to run all of the Official Fragapalooza tournaments on tournament machines. A requirement of Apple sponsoring our event is that the whole West Side of the venue is being restricted Apple only to boost their image. I hope you understand.

Intel in response to this news is requiring the East Side of the venue to be only Intel Inside. We know this leaves out those with AMD processors, as such we have arranged for the Mayfield staff to setup a tent outside with substantial power. At least the networking won't be a problem with our 100% wireless solution.

See you soon!
Fragapalooza Staff

April 1 2005
Network! - 7:18 MST - Gaza
We are pleased to announce that this year?s network sponsor will be supplying a 100% 802.11g wireless network for 2005! Not only is this more convenient for the participants as they can setup anywhere it also saves Fragapalooza money on cat 5 allowing us to run a better event for you. We will be selling wireless cards at the event at a reasonable price for those unfortunate enough to still be using wired technology.

Although second might be true, but I doubt it.

[Shayne]

 I bought a condo on Wednesday so im a little emotionally drained  Sorry for the harshness.

[Ustauk]

I bought a condo on Wednesday so im a little emotionally drained  Sorry for the harshness.

So do you need help moving?