Love Is...

[Thorin]

I found this rather profound and inspirational:

Love is based on more than just physical attraction.  Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that.  Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment, and trust.  When you are in love it is as if you have your best, most-trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them.  It is the best of both worlds!  Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one another's happiness.  Love is not about jealousy.  It is not about conflict.  It is not about testing.  Love is a positive feeling.  If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity, or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy.  Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will.  Love should feel good.  It should not feel bad.  Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive.  Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow.  Love is a good thing.  Anything less is lust, deep friendship, or attraction.

Gotta remember that for when the kids are old enough to date...

[raeofsunshine]

remember that the pale copy of love is blind... and you cant see through the illusion that you have built up in your mind because you have convinced yourself you are deliriously happy. It wont matter what you say to the smitten no matter how rational your argument as love and all of its lesser copies are irrational. the problems dont exist if they chose to disassociate themselves with reality. some will eventually see others wont.

It took my mom 15 years to come to terms with it with my father before she was strong enough to leave him and finaly become her own person. other people like me who ended up in a controlling relationship (pre Lazy that is) started backing off the minute the behavior surfaced. and  i broke up with him when he started getting jelouse when i glanced at other males. once he threw the first fit of rage threatening to break up with me, is when i backed off. it took a few more months for me to actually leave because i did think i loved him and that he loved me. but it got to the point where i couldnt say it and i knew i was only there because i needed to feel wanted that and the sex... i felt demoralized and like i wasnt anything unless he was around and quickly figured out that wasn't healthy.

At prom he spent the better part following me around yelling at me saying I was wrong for spending time with my friends i should be dancing with him. it got to the point at the end of the night he was convinced that my friends didnt like him that they were takeing me away from him and i was cheating on him that i didnt love him that i never loved him and that he didnt want me to leave him but would often tell me to leave in the next breath and then he threatened to kill himself then me...

it slowly elevated from just the jealousy to the full out rage. it was hardly noticeable but because i grew up in that environment myself i knew what to look for. and took the situation as a whole for what it was i wouldn't rationalize it saying oh i love him he is so wonderful blah blah blah... i didnt want to be a prisoner with no friends but my significant other. i have seen how after the cloud thins how the person being manipulated often just gives up to the whims of the manipulator. because they still believe its love. or just dont have enough of their own personality left to make a decision for themselves.

i sought out the opinions of others because i know that its easier to see the whole picture when your not knee deep in the @%&# you have shoveled around yourself. my friends gave me the strength to leave him on prom night as did my mom and her strength she showed the night she left dad.... the night she left was the first time i remember feeling truly proud of her it was the first time in a long time she did something good for herself and with out feeling ashamed she put herself first.

[Mr. Analog]

Hah! Reminds me of this!

http://www.starterupsteve.com/flash/html/love.shtml

[raeofsunshine]

thats too funny... i actually got that stuck in  my head when i read the title...

[Mr. Analog]

Love advice?

TRUST is the key. If you can't trust your lover OR they can't trust you then what do you have? I learned this the hard way...

The only thing worse than a poo is a sham poo. Wait... whut?

[raeofsunshine]

yes trust in the other but also trust in yourself. hehe he said poo

[Ustauk]

The heart has reasons for which the mind cannot possibly understand.

Love is a choice.

Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising up every time we fall.

Its our business.

[Thorin]

Love is a choice?  What are you choosing between?  You made a loaded statement and I asked a loaded question, and I'm going to try not to jump to conclusions.  However, if you're referring to what I think you're referring to, then I would say that true love doesn't make you choose; love is not an us-vs-them situation.

Mr. Analog's partly right, trust is the number one ingredient in a relationship.  But you can love someone without being in a relationship with them, and if it turns out you can't trust them and you break up to make sure you don't get hurt, you can still love them until the end of time.

[Ustauk]

    0, my love is like a red, red rose,
    that's newly sprung in June.
    0, my love is like a melody,
    that's sweetly play'd in tune.

    As fair thou art, my bonnie lass,
    so deep in love am I,
    And I will love thee still, my dear,
    till a' the seas gang dry.

    Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
    and the rocks melt wi' the sun!
    And I will love thee still, my dear,
    while the sands of life shall run.

    And fare the weel, my only love!
    And fare the well awhile!
    And I will come again, my love.
    Tho it were ten thousand mile!

"Love is a hard rock between two people and can't be torn apart."

It's our business.

[Melbosa]

I'm confused how this thread got to where it has, especially with the last 3 posts above this one...  deep thoughts often are plagued by deeper meaning, something that always seems to stir strong emotions in our tiny little part of web.

For sakes of friendships and relationships I would suggest the discussion direction this thread is having should be halted, and perhaps taken to a more personal interaction should anyone feel more discussion is needed.  Writing, even in the best author's hands, can be sometimes taken more than one way.  Face to face might be a more prudent course of action as emotional intent, body language, tone, etc can make the same conversation so much different than that in written word.

[Mr. Analog]

Lock the thread if you want to, I'm done with this business.

I leave with words of wisdom:

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."
~Antoine de Saint-Exup?ry

[raeofsunshine]

please lock it as mr analog is right text based mediums leave much to be desired and are often taken how the reader choses to respond to it with his or her own background and feelings. feelings are not a choice feelings are irrational and everyone is entitled to feel how they feel. the choice lays in how you deal with the feelings with your own frame of reference.

[Melbosa]

Guys you miss-understood my post.  I didn't want the thread locked, just wanted to get more back to the topic of Love, without involving any particular person's situations or standings.  Just saw it going down a path that was only going to get worse.

So post on, as deep discussions are what forums are all about!!!!!!!

[Thorin]

Let me ask my question a little more succinctly, as re-reading my earlier post shows that it didn't state quite what I was thinking.

Ustauk, you said, "Love is a choice".  I didn't understand this statement and am wondering what you meant by it.  And not because I want to pry into your personal life, but because I'm interested in what you meant by it.  Did you mean that whether or not you love someone is a choice?  Or that once you love someone you have to choose between them and others?  Or that love gives you the ability to choose?

[Darren Dirt]

or maybe his meaning was along the lines of "love is a VERB (not a feeling)"?