letting go

[Lazybones]

Now, is either of them selfish?  You could say the woman is selfish for wanting the entire driveway replaced at a pretty high price tag - leaving it be would cost nothing.  You could say the man is selfish for wanting quiet time every night after supper.

Wanting is not selfish, but expecting is.... That is the best way I can explain it.

What I was trying to get at is a good relationship is one where both parties are getting something (could be simply attention or some intangible) from the other willingly. Just like in your example, each person just does what the other wants because it really isn't a problem for them since they enjoy making the others life easier.

[spidergirl]

Absolutely right, and I am slowly realizing that even though he said he likes me he really isn't there and it is me putting in all the effort.   So I say forget I have been down that road before and I am not going there again.  MY only hope is that we can remain friends because I do care for his son as well and we have a great frienship.

[spidergirl]

Well after many months of deliveration and things progressing in our friendship and then coming to a standstill I am finally finding my slef able to move on.  He went and got a gf and broke my heart into a million pieces but for the sake of the friendship I made myself deal with it.  Some said that he was not acting like a true friend and that I should ditch him but it is not that cut and dry.  He has  a 2 yr old and sure you can dump a friend but no way in hell do you dump a child, so I have been the bigger person in this one and pushed my feelings aside so we can remain friends and it was the best darn decision I ever made!!

[Mr. Analog]

The main thing is that you are happy and you can now move on to bigger and better things.

Rock on!

[Mags]

Good for you Spider. Just be careful of going back down that road since you've been there before.