Cruel workplace pranks jokes and/or quotes

[Darren Dirt]

...from pop culture, urban legends, personal experience, or even your own diabolical mind -- what kind of on-the-job silliness at the expense of others do you have to share?





My dream is that this will be a lengthy thread that is a source of cheek-hurting amusement to us all for months to come. Help make this dream come true!  





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I'll start with a quote:

"Dwight thinks it's Friday so that's what I'm going to be doing this afternoon." - Jim, "The Office"

[Melbosa]

I'll accussed my boss many times of being a drug endused hippy, both at my old position and new one.  Also accussed my previous team lead as being a S&M slave driver, and hinted that she should wear leather outfits and a whip to fit the role.



Its all in good fun .



Lets see, pratical jokes:

• Used computer management to pop open cd-rom drives on various random computers

• Installed Windows 3.11 for Workgroups on a P4 on my team leads machine while she was away on vacation - even got MS Mail working with our Exchange 2003 system.

• Took out the cylinders out of an HD, installed it in a co-workers machine, and waited to see how long until he figured it out.

• Took a screen shot of a person's desktop, then removed everything from their desktop with Group Policies, and watched them try and click on stuff.  Only until the clock didn't change did they figure it out.

• Came back from working up in Fairview (farming community with a college) to my desk full of hay and a blow-up cow on my keyboard.

• Filled a co-workers cubbie with ballons while they were gone, forgot to remove the computer equipment and wipped their system clean with static from the ballons.

• Had a friend quit his job as a mechanic, so we sneaked in the night before, and hide the bottom of his tool box in the parts room, and using the tallest guy I know (Squatch), we hoisted his top of the tool box to the roof rafters.  Then we duct-taped him to the hoist the next day, and stuck a hoose in his coveralls, and turned on the cold water.

[/list]



If I think of more, I'll post em

[Mr. Analog]

A former coworker of mine, let's call him "Al" (hi "Al") modified a ceiling tile into a trap door over his manager's desk. The desk was in a small office with a glass wall facing the hallway. Good old Al took some time and added hinges to the ceiling tile, shaved off the edges (so it would swing freely) and tied it up with a long piece of fishing line. One end of the fishing line was dangling out in the hallway and the trap door was loaded with about three boxes full of packing peanuts.



When the trap was set, Al tapped on the window as soon as his manager looked up he pulled the fishing line and dumped about 10 gallons of packing peanuts on him all at once. There were styrofoam bits EVERYWHERE, down the guys shirt, stacked over his coffee all over his office, it looked like a winter wonderland.



Al used to be a cop, and if anything those guys know how to have quasi-legal fun, there was another prank he played in his building involving a 9 volt battery, a bit of wire, the elevator and a single bullet... but I digress.

[Cova]

I try and insult my boss on a daily basis, usually somehow involving the fact that he can't speak any english, and/or that he's in the polish mafia somehow.  When he was gone on vacation, we took his laptop, docking-station, monitors, and everything else out of his office, and set him up at an un-used reception desk.  Then one of the other guys picked up some shoes and a purse at value-village or something, and we made out his old office to look as though a woman was now working from there, including moving every piece of furniture he had to somewhere else, etc.  To this day, he still has a purse and some womans shoes in the corner of his office, and he left the furniture where we moved it to.