Two Tough Questions

[CowGirl]

http://www.jibjab.com/jokebox/jokebox/jibjab/id/179563/jokeid/32744

[Darren Dirt]

Most of us have seen the "deaf" one, but the other one was a bit more rare. I knew about the "vegetarian" candidate but the other 2 were surprising (and yet, not really )

[Mr. Analog]

This just proves my theory that vegetarians are evil!

[Thorin]

The first question is wrong on three points:
1. Maria Magdalena van Beethoven (nee Keverich) had eight children (one from her first marriage, seven from her second), not nine as the question implies (eight plus a pregnancy equals nine)
2. Ludwig van Beethoven was the third-born, not ninth-born
3. Maria Magdalena died of consumption (what we now call tuberculosis); there's no record of her having syphilis, nor syphilitic symptoms, nor of her husband Johann having any syphilitic symptoms (but he liked the booze!)

So no, I wouldn't have killed our beloved Beethoven if I'd suggested she get an abortion.

For the second question, not nearly enough information is given about each candidate.  A typical voter such as myself would know a lot more about them and their stance on the various issues at hand than what was given there.  By the way:
1. Hitler indulged in liver dumplings, ham, and caviar, all animal products
2. Hitler was smitten with his niece and wanted her for his concubine
3. Hitler's niece died, and shortly after Hitler swore off meat
4. Hitler never beat his wife, because he wasn't married until nearly midnight on April 28, and they both committed suicide around 3pm April 30.  That's only 39 hours of marriage
5. Hitler was a headquarters messenger in WWI.  He was awarded the Iron Cross 1st Class for his messenger service.  Yes, having to run from HQ in the back to commanders near the front lines is more dangerous than just staying in HQ, but not nearly as dangerous as actually having to climb out of the trenches and storming the enemy.  Oh, and he passed up a promotion because he'd get re-assigned to a non-HQ company in his regiment, most likely one that would require him to storm the enemy.