Slime smarter than commuting Canadian teenagers

[Mr. Analog]

http://discovermagazine.com/2009/jan/071

In a study, scientists found that slime molds could anticipate varying environmental effects and seemed to learn patterns of cold/wet conditions. This is vastly more intelligent than the bubblebrained teens that don't wear toques in -30 weather (lest they flatten their messy hairstyles).

GET OFF MY LAWN!