Real elite programmer (I don't want to be one)

[Darren Dirt]

http://architects.dzone.com/articles/how-be-real-elite-programmer

a satirical list, almost a warning/self-check.

[Mr. Analog]

Lame, also they misspelled Dr Pepper

[Thorin]

See, that's why I know you're an elite programmer, you picked up on that

No but seriously, that was a lame list.  But hey, it's the internet.

[Mr. Analog]

It's kind of like "hardcore" gamer

What is that even.

[Darren Dirt]

See, that's why I know you're an elite programmer, you picked up on that

No but seriously, that was a lame list.  But hey, it's the internet.

I thought the one-sentence comment at the end of the List clarified its purpose.

It was to say "hey, if you buy in to too many of these aspects of life as a code monkey then you are becoming less human and more of a machine and THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON". Pretty much.

[Mr. Analog]

Yeah but, in giving a list of attributes that don't make an "elite" programmer the author exposes other equally bad preconceptions...

[Tom]

You have to admit though, that sleep IS for wussies.

[Mr. Analog]

Actually there is one thing that certifies you among the programming elite: a beard

[Melbosa]

Actually there is one thing that certifies you among the programming elite: a beard

But I can't grow a beard .  Does this mean I can never be an elite?

[Lazybones]

Actually there is one thing that certifies you among the programming elite: a beard

But I can't grow a beard .  Does this mean I can never be an elite?

Correct, better accept it now and move on... Like Samson the beard grants special powers.

[Melbosa]

Actually there is one thing that certifies you among the programming elite: a beard

But I can't grow a beard .  Does this mean I can never be an elite?

Correct, better accept it now and move on... Like Samson the beard grants special powers.

Fine I'm out... no more coding for jou, and jou, and jou!  I'll instead be the mad server admin... you like your password huh?!?! well no more password for jou!  Code now you silly, unprivileged, guest-read-only account holder, elite!    Moooahhhahahahahhaahhahhhhh!

Come back 1 week, I give password then.

[Mr. Analog]

LOL!

Join the Bearded Elite!

[Darren Dirt]

Yeah but, in giving a list of attributes that don't make an "elite" programmer the author exposes other equally bad preconceptions...

correction: in giving a list of attributes that many people incorrectly believe make an "elite" programmer
...that's what I think the point was -- not to take "pride" in such myths and unhealthy life choices. And not to feel bad if you actively seek (or :shock: ACHIEVE) some kind of balance in your non-coding life in harmony with your coding life... fear not, it does not make you less "elite", it makes you more human... (imo)

Join the Bearded Elite!

weird idk why but my brain just got this impulse to check something...
http://www.imdb.com/find?q=the+Bearded+Elite
even weirder is that NEVER has there been a film with that exact title! How is that possible...

and weirdest = the Google Images search is almost entirely Saddam Hussein or bald black NBA players ... or else military figurines #wthgoogle

[Mr. Analog]

The premise of the joke is flawed, being good at something has nothing to do with the stereotypes associated with it (the joke premise), it also has nothing to do with stereotypes not associated with it. It simply "is".

The other problem is the specific word "elite", in the context of the joke it spells arrogance. So, if you remove the contradictions and replace "elite" with the antonym for arrogant it reads like this:

Humble programmers have distractions like kids and spouses in their life.

Humble programmers have hobbies that aren't coding.

Humble programmers do their best work during the day.

Humble programmers love their day job.

and so on

If they had used "good" the joke would have taken on a better flavor, but they went out of their way to use the word "elite" coupled with contradictions (because rhetorical statements are funny).

To me this lead to a new set of truisms which are equally faulty.

But of course real elite programmers disassemble the grammar used in jokes and interpret them differently.


Source

[Tom]

Why would you only want 6 eggs? And how exactly can you buy 9?

Are we talking a farmers market where you might actually be able to buy eggs individually?